CONTENTS
CHAPTER 1: TENDER-GENTLENESS
CHAPTER 2: SWEET-UNDERSTANDING
CHAPTER 3: MEEK-PLEASANTNESS
CHAPTER 4: A LOVING-KIND
COMPASSION
CHAPTER 5: HOLY-FILLED PIETY IN MANIFOLD
DEVOTION TO GOD AND HIS WORD OF TRUTH
CHAPTER 6: A FUN-HAPPINESS
CHAPTER 7: HOLY LIVING AS A MELODY
CHAPTER 8: DEDICATED-GODLY RESPONSIBILITY
CHAPTER 9: TRANSFORMING PARENTS OF
TRANSFORMING CHILDREN
CHAPTER 10: OUR HOME AS THE ARK OF NOAH
CHAPTER 11: THE CHRISTMAS FEELING ALL THE TIME
CHAPTER 12: YOUR BODY IS MINE, MY BODY IS YOURS
CHAPTER 1:
TENDER-GENTLENESS
The
dove is a tender bird, and we would do well to imitate its tenderness. The Spirit of God is symbolized by the dove
at Jesus’ baptism, because our God is not only a warrior for His own but a
tender God who cares for His children.
A
mother is called to have a gentle-tenderness, because it is the mother who is
the queen of the household. How does this gentle-tenderness look?
As
a mother gently nurses his new-born infant so to she also cares for him as he
cries in the evening, and when the new born child gets older, the mother also
treasures him by a steady patience that is born in tenderly-gentleness. The child gains respect and fear of her
mother because she is one to whom he seeks to please. Respect and fear are born in the child by a
steady and consistent warm-hearted up-bringing that is founded in
tenderly-gentleness.
Our
Heavenly Father is a tender Father who cares for His children and disciplines
them according to His all-wisdom. Though
every father on earth is imperfect we also can learn a fatherly tenderness in
holy gentleness by correcting our children by our words, hands and fatherly
wisdom.
As
a father holds a new born child in his arms, he does so in a tender-gentleness,
and as a father does so, he should also shape the little ones by a God-fearing,
fatherly instruction.
A
tender-gentleness is like a stream that molds the rocks beneath it, and as it
does so, the rocks become smooth. A
tender-gentleness is like a blooming flower that hits the rays of the sun, and
brings to light the beauty of its colors, aroma and structure. A tender-gentleness is like a bird that seeks
the welfare of her children as they seek to fly as little ones, but only
through effort and example are they able to build strength to fly.
Is
there a tender-gentleness in your heart?
Or do these words bounce off your heart because it is a stone?
If
we are to picture the family of families, let us picture the Virgin holding her
new born Son, and nurturing Him, and caring for Him in what I call
“sweet-understanding.” The mother and
Son have a bond of tenderly-gentleness starting back from conception to
adulthood, and the supposed father, Joseph, trains up Christ as to be a Man of
men, and to live under his compassionate instruction in fatherly tenderness and
gentleness.
Behold, the Son
of Man who is an example of the highest obedience to His parents, and a model
of holiness for our children.
We see in our
day also a degradation of grown-up children who lack to help their elderly
parents. What was Christ’s instruction to St. John at the Cross? It was to take care of His mother, the
God-bearer, as Christ Himself did in gently-tenderness.
And by the
tenderly-gentleness of Mary and Joseph, the little Lord Jesus would share His
tender redemptive love for His
pasture and Christ is the One who seeks us to care as He cares. Does
your tenderness and gentleness cause you to care as He cares for your
children? The Judge of heaven and
earth is watching.
CHAPTER 2:
SWEET-UNDERSTANDING
A
mother of sweet-understanding is like a motherly elephant that really cares for
her child, and seeks to nurture, protect and love him by a
sweet-understanding.
Sweet-understanding
refers to a forgiving and reconciling spirit; a mother who protects her
children from the wildness of the worldly jungle of this world; a father who
trains up their children with patient-understanding, patient-compassion,
patient-loveliness and a patient-caringness that motivates the child to please
his father.
A
father and mother train up their children in the way of Christ, and as Job
sought to amend the suspecting-sins of his children, so to, parents should
instill a heart in their children of meek devotion to Christ and His Word by
showing them the realities of spiritual truth in their own lives, and in the
lives of men and women of old.
Sweet-understanding
is a way for the children to have a feeling of respect for their parents, but
if the child should take advantage of grace, explain the negative and harmful
consequences from God and man by examples of abusers of grace. Herein
is sweet-understanding born of God’s all-wisdom because more people fall into
sin because of a presumption of grace!
Instead of a presumption of grace we should have a devotion to the grace
of obedience.
If
we learn from the Bible, those who seek to abuse grace are those of evil, and
by abuse of grace, the flesh conquers the Spirit. And yet, God has given His children enough
grace to conquer every temptation, but if we should fall we may renew our
repentance, and renew our Christian obedience.
I
have learned by personal experience that life is short. It is good to let children be children, and
to play and have fun, but also to incorporate lessons to live by and growing in
knowledge.
If
any young little one lacks the patience to learn, he may benefit from the
little Lord Jesus and His devotion to learn.
Christ grew in wisdom as touching His humanity and all little children
would do well to imitate their Lord to whom He blesses. Sweet-understanding
is born of the One who is Incarnate Sweetness and Understanding.
CHAPTER 3:
MEEK-PLEASANTNESS
Let
us call each other to a humble modesty and a gentle meekness among those who
are married. This all cultivates a way
of pleasantness that should permeate our homes, our hearts, our minds in the
household.
Meek-pleasantness
leaves behind a fragrant aroma; it is seen by the way everything is structure
in the household, from cleaning and arranging things to how we relate to our
children, and how husbands relates to his wives.
How do you speak to your wife? How do you speak to your husband? How do you sound to your children or
visitors?
Are
you cultivating a humble spirit born of meek-pleasantness? Do you recognize that all things in your
possession belong to the God of heaven and earth?
Do
the words that come forth from your mouth show themselves to be likable to your
spouse? Do you spend time with your
child in the spirit of fatherly friendship?
Christ
is our Friend of friends because He was born to save by dying so we might live
for all eternity. He was born in a
humble setting, and He is pictured as a Shepherd of His spiritual pasture.
I
have a picture in my study that is a wooden picture of Christ as the meek
Shepherd. He is pictured holding a sheep
in His arms with His staff. It’s surely
a tender-gentleness that is from a sweet-understanding, because when one of His
little ones goes astray He is there to seek it out and find it to nurture it to
the end.
We
ought to have a knowledge that is born in discernment, and is sprinkled with
the delights of heaven by a humility that is contagious to our children and
spouse.
Meek-pleasantness
looks like the Garden of Eden where the trees and flowers grow, and where
animals are named by Adam after God’s instruction. Meek-pleasantness is having a household that
is about how we sound, what we say, how we act, and it is should look like a
place away from heaven.
Does my home reflect heaven? Does my heart glow with godliness and is my
life tempered with a meek-pleasantness? Tis’
a fitting task to undertake.
CHAPTER 4:
A LOVING-KIND COMPASSION
If
we look to Christ, we see loving-kind compassion, because He is the One who
purchased His elect ones out of spiritual darkness.
A
loving-kind compassion looks like a tiger wrestling with his little ones to
train them in some sense for the wild but also it is seen as a fun-exercise. When we were children we loved to play, and
our parents would watch us, and interact at times.
A loving-kind
compassion looks like a mother and father finding fault with their child but by
God’s caring Hand they see themselves in their child, and offers a loving hand
of sweet-kindness and humble-compassion by words formed by His Spirit.
Loving-kindness
will also correct their children, and train them with life-lessons with a
praying-mind with hands that study the Word of Life.
Christ
saw a crowd and to Him it was as sheep without a Shepherd, because there was no
one to lead His people. As Christ is the
Shepherd and leads His people, the parents are also caring for those whom are
born holy unto the Lord.
Parents
should tend their children like Christ tends His spiritual pasture. Do not say it is an example beyond you:
doesn’t Scripture command us to imitate Christ?
Noah
was a preacher of righteousness, and he had a loving-kind compassion for his
children, because he sheltered them by words of Christ in a world that was to
perish by dark waters of a deluge unlike the world ever saw.
Therefore
we must watch over our children, because we live in a spiteful world of
darkness, crime and corruption. Also
parents should watch over each other as Christ watches over the elders of a
church, because we live in days of spiritual crime against the foundation of
society, and we live in days which redefine marriage by human standards,
because of man’s problem of sin, but no one can truly overthrow God’s holy
words.
CHAPTER 5:
HOLY-FILLED PIETY IN MANIFOLD DEVOTION TO GOD AND HIS WORD OF TRUTH
Holy
piety is the foundation of a true marriage, because if someone is a Christian,
it must determine their whole lives. If
it does not determine their whole lives it is sin. That is, every aspect of the Christian’s life
should be extremely impacted for the good of Christ, for the good of the family
and for the good of the world.
Divorce
is really a sin that is the failure to love as Christ calls us to love. That is, if we fail on the love that Christ
calls us to, we fail at the most basic level of our Faith.
As
an example, we are called to know the basics of our Christian faith, because
the apostle Peter commanded Christians to know reasons for the hope that is in
you.
If we know the
basics of our Faith, we will be able to watch out for error, sin and false
teaching. We should enrich ourselves in
His Word where God is.
However, we are
also called to be wise as to partake of the spiritual meat of the Word. That is, to get into the detailed ways of
God, and learn His holy, sacred and lovely truth.
If we love at
the most basic level, we have learned an elementary truth that is the secret to
Christian marriage. If your wife is a
neighbor or an enemy, what should your response be in light of Christ’s
teaching?
Holy piety to
God looks like a beautiful life that is an on-going transformation and is filled
with dedication to God and His Word.
Have you looked
at pornography in the past? Did you not
realize when you bring that into the home you scandalize your marriage before
God? But has your Christian faith determined
that you have completely gained an advantage over your sin?
If we have
unreconciling arguments, you are not walking in love. Love does not hold things against each other,
because compromise is the centrality of the marriage relationship.
If holy-piety in
the Reformed Faith is not your upmost call as a wife or husband, you have
sinking sand for your foundation. The
foundation of marriage is a holy-devotion to the commands, teachings and
doctrines of the Word of God, because a heart born of God should be about a
compassionate-compromise; a kind-compromise; a gentle-compromise; a
modest-compromise that shines through, and shatters the darkness of
divorce.
CHAPTER 6:
A FUN-HAPPINESS
What
is fun-happiness in the marriage relationship?
Every positive facet of the ingredients of marriage is an instrument of
fun-happiness. That is, when you attend
church together it is fun-happiness because the essence of holy-piety is about
a sacred happiness before God.
A
heart that is born of God will experience the fun-happiness by prayer to God
and a molded disposition for sweet-happiness.
I
enjoyed when my Grandma made koshered blankets, because it shows me tenderness,
and warmth that only a true mother can give.
I will also enjoy when my future wife undertakes this calming-delight of
koshering. Herein is an example of fun-happiness in marriage.
Even
if there is some kind of negative thing that may come up, what could break the
unbreakable vows of marriage? God meant it as it cannot be torn asunder,
and you must believe it. The
marriage celebration was in the spirit of fun-happiness, but if negative things
come about it is another way to really smile
and hold hands in its face, because it’s the sweet-understanding in the honor
of Christ that is on the line.
Difficult
times should be an opportunity to rejoice with one another to God, and pain
should be a privilege to bless God in light of the fact that all things are
ordained for our good because we love God and are called according to His
purpose.
Therefore
in light of this, marriage would be indestructible, because it is after the
happiness prescribed for man by God in His most holy Word.
No matter what happens keep your stedfast
integrity by having unconditional love for your spouse and children. If you should fall by discouragement, or
depression, simply renew your obedience by repentance, and mediate with your
spouse on the holiness of God in Christ Jesus.
CHAPTER 7:
HOLY LIVING AS A
MELODY
Holy
living is like an awesome song that impacts all things around us, and also
causes others to be molded by it. Can people see your song of holiness as they
picture your life and does it impact all things around you?
Holy
living is like a majestic hymn that speaks volumes of His transforming-grace,
and as Augustine said that singing is praying twice, so to, holy living that
determines all things in your life is like praying three times.
God
is concerned about holiness of mind; holiness of heart and holiness of
deeds. This is a melody unto our God of
the Bible.
We
can learn about living as a melody in a practical sense, because do we go about
being cheerful and singing along with the angels throughout the day?
Holy
living is a like a shining star that pierces the darkness of space, because the
light that God has made is penetrating, powerful and pleasant.
CHAPTER 8:
DEDICATED-GODLY
RESPONSIBILTY
A
mother and a father have the godly-responsibility to nurture their children;
train their children; protect their children; and pray for their children.
This
responsibility ought to be dedicated, devoted and destined to godliness
everywhere, because God calls us to live in light of His Word.
Parents
have the responsibility to God and man to be the best parents they can be, and
their children have the responsibility to be obedient to their parents.
Love
is the centrality of compromise, and it is the responsibility of all who belong
to God in the family relationship.
CHAPTER 9:
TRANSFORMING PARENTS
OF TRANSFORMING CHILDREN
As
time goes on, parents are transformed through knowledge, and children are
transformed by the grace of learning under God.
As
Christ was perfectly obedient to God the Father, the wife ought to be obedient
to the husband but with instructional-compromise, and the children ought to
obey the ways of their parents apart from wrongdoing.
As
the Spirit transforms our hearts in regeneration, so the parent must be a firm
instrument of success for their children, because grace is the grounds of knowledge
with godliness.
You
must stress to your children: a life devoid of a heart of true sincere-holiness
is a life of imitating Satan. Appearances
do not count, because God is after a heart of purity and godliness to His dear
Son.
You
must learn yourself, dear parent: a heart devoid of a life of consistent
holiness, and a life devoid of a heart of the Spirit, is nothing less then
satanic corruption. You must master
yourself; that is, gain Christ by His grace and Spirit, and then you are
properly in the place to teach your children a consistent holy-living.
If you fail at
parenting, you will not reach the world.
Has the world reached you
instead? You must reach your child,
because through that you will reach the world.
CHAPTER 10:
OUR HOME AS THE ARK OF NOAH
God
gave divine instructions in how to build the Ark:
God also gives instructions on how to build a Reformed family.
The
ingredients of a family born of God is believing
God the Son, devotion to His Word, prayer for family-blessedness, real church-devotion
of the heart (attendance) and loving our neighbor as ourselves.
When
no one believed God Noah did; when no one had devotion to His Word Noah did;
when the world was corrupt and violent Noah prayed and kept His family in the
safekeeping arms of Christ; when the world forsake God Noah gathered in the Ark
(the last representation of Christ and His people at that time), and when the
world hated each other Noah loved them by preaching righteousness (the gospel
of goodness), and Noah preached the salvation of God by the Ultimate Ark: Almighty
Angel of the LORD (the eternal pre-existent, God the Son).
As
God molds us in our mother’s womb, we must mold our children under God and
through His Word by consistent instruction of real truth and holiness of heart.
As
Noah built the Ark, he had help
from his family. In this God gives us
the grace to build our family by everyone lending a hand.
Build
your family as God built the Ark:
He has given you the means to accomplish
a success family in the world today, but you must preach righteousness to your
child at a young age, and pray for Him as Christ prayed for unity in John
17.
CHAPTER 11:
THE CHRISTMAS
FEELING ALL THE TIME
The
Christmas season is a wonderful feeling: imagine if we could have this feeling
all the time? We think of gifts, and
food, and the Christ Child. We also
think of family and friends, because we are brought together due to Christ.
Some
people today do not celebrate Christmas, because they look back at the Puritans
and take their example, but this view fails because what the Puritans rejected
was an ungodly celebration of Christmas through sin such as drunkenness.
If
we would learn from this, it would teach us a vital lesson, because where sin
is in the family, there is a problem to be reconciled.
We
must have a family celebration of togetherness, and be apart of each other’s
lives, because Christ appeared to His half-brother James, and in doing so, He
became the bishop of Jerusalem, and
wrote an epistle.
The
Christmas feeling is really about a love of Christ that moves you to reverence
His holy name, because to pay tribute to His name is only right and good.
Do
you have a caring heart? Do you love
your spouse because of who he is? Or do
you love because of what he can give you?
You
knew who you fell in love with, but you may struggle to love again. However, because our Sovereign Lord seeks our
happiness He commands us to love.
Really, the Christmas spirit is about the love of Christ not the love of
worldliness.
My
vision of the Christian family is a Christmas feeling that lives in the hearts
of His people by a divine respect and worship of His name that fills society
with His redeeming love by preachers of righteousness that even make the air
holy. Amen.
CHAPTER 12:
YOUR BODY IS MINE,
MY BODY IS YOURS
The body of my
future wife is mine, and my body is hers.
As God has ownership over our bodies, there is ownership between husband
and wife (among themselves). However, this does not mean a reckless spirit of
sexual sin, but it means both ought to have a gentle-tenderness, and
sweet-understanding concerning the marriage bed.
I
think it means that husband and wife should use their hands, minds and mouths
for the martial satisfaction of sexual affection.
I
think the key to sexual affection in Reformed marriage is a
loving-gentle-compassionate compromise in light of our martial desires, because
the institution of marriage centers on a spirit of understanding sprinkled with
discernment.
I
believe the Reformed marriage in its picture born of God’s Spirit is better
then those of the secular sphere, because it is done in the context of what is
pleasing to God.
God
is not against sexual fulfillment in the marriage bed, but He is against
sharing partners, or something that violates the marriage bed, such as,
immorality or abuse.
It
is important to meet each other’s needs in the marriage bed, because both
husband and wife must care for each other and not give Satan an opportunity for
an advantage to sin, but we must also watch our own lives and hearts that sin
does not creep into it, because sin is a threat to marriage. This threat can be avoided by consistent
obedience under God’s grace and an overall-altering of the self by consistent
repentance to God in Christ in dedicated self-control.
